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 Post subject: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:30 pm 
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Just weeks shy of his 33rd birthday, Alex Rodriguez is a father of two, his signature gracing a historic contract worth up to $300 million. The youngest man to reach 500 home runs, he is the most formidable talent of his generation, arguably the most gifted player since Mickey Mantle or Willie Mays.

But the dismal truth — and I've defended him more times than I care to recall — is that he's a follower. If the news of his alleged affair and impending divorce from wife Cynthia is to offer anything more than titillation (nothing wrong with titillation, mind you), it's just that. A-Rod is a four-letter word for sheep. You don't need a post-graduate degree or a press pass to figure this one out. Alex Rodriguez doesn't know who he is, or what he's supposed to be.

That's a problem — for Rodriguez and the team that pays him so extravagantly. With the baseball world set to converge on the Bronx for the final All-Star game at Yankee Stadium, Rodriguez should be poised to bask in considerable glory. For $300 million, he's supposed to be the face of the franchise, the personification of Yankee Pride. Instead, he's become an embarrassment, a thoroughly entertaining embarrassment perhaps, but an embarrassment nonetheless.

For once, the comparison with Derek Jeter is apropos. I submit that Jeter's sense of self is related to a few of life's simple pleasures: winning, being a Yankee and making his way through Maxim's Top 100.

Now consider the celebrity known as A-Rod, and his alarmingly public quest for love and happiness. A couple of years ago, it was therapy. ("I thank Cynthia for that because therapy is an incredible thing," he told "Extra.") Last year, it was the Mystery Blonde (a mode of treatment I endorsed wholeheartedly). Now, it's kabbalah. According to a report in the New York Post, Madonna has convinced A-Rod to "clean out his vessel."

It's a wonder that satirists aren't an imperiled breed, as the most imaginative comic mind would not have dared to concoct such a scenario as this. Once again, nothing is more deliciously perverse than straight news, straight up.


Somewhere, Jose Canseco is laughing his ass off. As a rule, ballplayers deem nubile a virtue. But Madonna — who'll celebrate her 50th later this summer — is more than two decades past her prime as a wrecker of baseball marriages.

Then there's Scott Boras. He's having a chuckle, too. Rodriguez fired Boras after he made their short-lived decision to opt out of the previous record-breaking contract public during the clinching game of the World Series.

"I was angered, upset, shocked, in disbelief," Rodriguez would tell Katie Couric (why not Oprah?). "It was like a bad nightmare."

Rodriguez would never knowingly detract from the World Series. Just because he sunbathes in Central Park doesn't mean he would want to be a distraction.

Perish the thought. Now A-Rod has sworn off Mystery Blondes for a blonde who retains no mystery at all. And though he's barely seen his newborn daughter, it's no reason to think him spiritually bankrupt. Hey, he's having Shabbat dinners with Madonna and the Hollywood agent they now share. Meanwhile, Cynthia (along with the erstwhile couple's personal trainer) has gone to Paris seeking solace from that noted healer, Lenny Kravitz. Before embarking on this sojourn, she reportedly found a note from Alex to Madge:

"You are my one true soul mate."

Poor bastard. He was better off with Boras.

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/8323296/On-the-Mark:-What-is-A-Rod-searching-for?


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 Post subject: Re: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:42 pm 
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He is probably wishing to have never gone to NY. Everyday people have problems in marriage and with extramarital affairs, why do they have to make his front page news. Funny how they only mention briefly that his wife ran over to France to Lenny Kravitz house to "get away from it all." I wanted AROD to go somewhere, anywhere else in the offseason, NY doesn't deserve him.


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 Post subject: Re: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:22 pm 
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Great post Jeremy. The only thing I would add would be an s to the word affair. A friend of mine at school is a die hard Yankees fan, native NY'er and a hard core autograph hound. He actually stakes out hotels and night spots to collect these. In his defense, he does not collect to sell. They are all his own personal collection. When the Yanks were in Phx one time, he staked out the Ritz Carlton to snag signatures for 3 nights in a row and can tell without a smidgeon of doubt that ARod left and came back with a different "Annie" every night. I understand he has a prenup with his wife but I hope she gets him where it hurts the most, the pockebook. This whole story is so mind boggling that it just couldn't be made up. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.


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 Post subject: Re: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:38 pm 
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Az Bucco fan wrote:
Great post Jeremy. The only thing I would add would be an s to the word affair. A friend of mine at school is a die hard Yankees fan, native NY'er and a hard core autograph hound. He actually stakes out hotels and night spots to collect these. In his defense, he does not collect to sell. They are all his own personal collection. When the Yanks were in Phx one time, he staked out the Ritz Carlton to snag signatures for 3 nights in a row and can tell without a smidgeon of doubt that ARod left and came back with a different "Annie" every night. I understand he has a prenup with his wife but I hope she gets him where it hurts the most, the pockebook. This whole story is so mind boggling that it just couldn't be made up. Truth is truly stranger than fiction.


Kind of OT, but I've heard from a few different people that Phoenix has a reputation as a hook up spot for major leaguers.


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 Post subject: Re: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:57 pm 
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Yes, great post, Jeremy, except that you didn't write it, although you made it look like you did.


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 Post subject: Re: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:27 pm 
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Possibly OJ part deux in the making?


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 Post subject: Re: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:55 pm 
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There is something very wrong with the whole behavior of famous people. First noticed it when I was a big fan of Michael Jorden. He had no life at all. He should have been living the dream but was not able to enjoy his fame. Anywhere he went he was attacked by fans and reporters. He had no life at all. Through it all he maintained a quality reputation for the most part. I'd guess there were at least a few women, and he did gamble some but his life was pretty clean.

Is it the money? the fame? the lack of privacy? the arrogance that comes with it all? What is it that destroys so many of these superstars?
Many have been brought up well, with normal childhoods.

Too many of them just go off. Why? They become such pathetic people when it looks like they have it all. Hollywood folks have the same problems. All that success results in total failure. How many Michael Jacksons, O.J.s el.al. do we need to see that it's destroying people.

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 Post subject: Re: On the Mark: What is A-Rod searching for?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:48 pm 
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Most people have come to accept that professional athletes make millions of dollars (it never bothered me in the first place), but when you pull the crap that A-Rod pulled (none of this "blame Scott Boras" stuff from me--the player needs to the agent works for him), you become a target.

Add the biggest contract in baseball history, the nonsense involved in his trade to the Yankees, the nonsense during the World Series and the fact that he has been non-existent in the last 3 post-seasons, this Madonna stuff and this is what you get.

As for Michael Jordan, A-Rod certainly in no MJ. But I don't feel all that bad for MJ either because he is the one who chose to put his face on every product on Earth. People need to learn there are consequences to things like that.

OJ is a whole other story.

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